I'm getting interviews but I'm self sabotaging
Context: I got laid off a week ago
I've applied to a lot of jobs and 3-4 good ones them have responded and I've started interviewing. But I'm scared. I have interview PTSD.
I just don't want to take on the massive risk of putting my heart and soul into working on assignments, preparing for interviews and getting rejected.
I've had that happen in the past, and it hurts. It hurts like a bitch. I get emotionally invested in the process. I start imagining my future with the company, start imagining being friends with my to-be coworkers. And sure, sometimes it works out. But many times, it has all come crashing down and now, my stupid brain goes -
"musssttt protecttt human"....
"can't bear to feel that much pain againnnn"
"what if we played a video game instead"?
"we don't need prep"
"we arrrrre smarrrttt"
"watch new exciting movies"
"good show, hmmmm??"
UGHHH. Why am I like this. Why is human biology like this? When will our brain catch up to modern civilization? I don't need my body to produce a huge stress response at these small things. I am aware of what's happening, yet I'm unable to stop it at times.
WTF can I do to get out this loop? Science says working out can help, so off I go to the gym.
Bye!
Send good vibes. I can use good vibes. I am in desperate need of good vibes.